Mystical Mermaid Lounge
Encouraging all to realize their inner divinity and divine purpose by delving into life’s challenges, personal growth, and the magical journey of self-discovery.
Mystical Mermaid Lounge
Authenticity is a Superpower
***** WARNING: SUICIDE AND SUBSTANCE USE DISCUSSED *****
Mary Beth Coster's spiritual journey defies conventional narratives about faith and redemption. When her husband stood at the brink of suicide, Mary Beth—a self-described "broken" person with no strong religious foundation—made a desperate plea to a God she wasn't sure existed. What followed transformed not just their marriage, but their entire approach to life.
Details
In this deeply moving conversation, Mary Beth recounts how divine intervention prompted her to share long-held secrets with her husband, creating a foundation of radical honesty that saved their relationship. "You leveled the playing field," he told her, finding connection rather than judgment in her confessions. This pivotal moment led them to the Mormon church as authentically flawed humans presuming acceptance for who they truly were.
Perhaps most remarkable is how Mary Beth and her husband overcame years of addiction. Both struggled with opioid dependency, with Mary Beth also battling alcoholism. Through prayer, they quit "cold turkey overnight"—a transformation that three years later has left them physically, mentally, and spiritually renewed.
Throughout our conversation, Mary Beth demonstrates how maintaining personal power within religious structures creates true freedom. Whether discussing her telepathic abilities, her compassion for LGBTQ+ individuals, or her profound connection with rescued animals, she embodies the radical authenticity she preaches. "I'm tired of hiding," she declares, challenging listeners to examine whether their spiritual practices enhance or diminish their authentic selves.
For anyone who has felt too broken, too honest, or too different for traditional spiritual paths, Mary Beth's story offers liberation. Her powerful message reminds us that our most painful moments can become our greatest strengths when we stop hiding and start demanding acceptance for who we truly are. The chains that once bound her have fallen away, leaving a life "we can't wait to happen." What chains might you be ready to shed?
Contact
The Black Lotus Salon, Rehoboth Beach, DE - 443.807.9621
Facebook - Mary Beth Coster
Instagram - @malibucos
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Chloe Brown is the graphic artist behind all of the Mermaids’ delightfully whimsical branded reels, stories and picture posts on social. Contact her at MysticalMermaidLounge@yahoo.com for artistic consultation and design work.
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Welcome to the Mystical Mermaid Lounge podcast, a space where all spiritual seekers are honored and celebrated. This podcast was born from the journeys of your hosts, who have each faced her own dark night of the sun, but they've emerged with an unshakable belief in divine connection, cosmic inspiration and her true life's calling. Join us on a journey of personal growth, transformation and magical self-discovery. Your first co-host is Chloe Brown, a gifted intuitive empath and shadow work life coach. Your second co-host is Keoni Starr, an intuitive energy worker and acclaimed past life regressionist. The Mystical Mermaid Lounge podcast starts now. The podcast starts now.
Speaker 3:I am excited to introduce our guest, mary Beth Koster. She is a talented and creative hairstylist and owns a successful salon, the Black Lotus, in Rehoboth Beach, delaware. She is an animal lover, a vocalist, a telepathic psychic who sees auras with her physical sight, and she is someone who my entire family just adores. I am so thankful you are here, mary Beth. I am Keone here with my co-host, chloe. Our first question for you is to tell us a little bit about your spiritual upbringing and what thought processes you were raised with around God. Source Universe.
Speaker 2:I was not raised with any religion. My parents were Catholic but were forced to go to church as children and didn't stick with it. My grandmother taught me about God say your prayers, ask God for help. In my 20s I started to pursue spirituality because I felt lost and needed a higher power. I started to go to different churches, do research on different religions, and nothing stuck. I got saved, baptized. Every time I went to a church, we got to baptize you. It never really meant anything to me. Nobody explained to me what baptism actually meant, what the Holy Ghost meant, who God was. So this went on until I was about 52.
Speaker 2:And my husband had a nervous breakdown. He was going to kill himself in front of me and I ran into the bathroom and looked up at the ceiling of my camper and said if you're real God, please just help me. Show me, you're here, show me that there's something more out there, took control of my tongue and I proceeded to tell my husband some horrible things about me and my past, things that I did, things I never wanted anyone to know and I have no idea how this helped my husband. But he looked up and said God, come into my life. I don't know what's happening to me, but I need your help. Through this awful conversation of me vomiting everything in my past that I had done, which he never bothered to ask, my husband thought I was this perfect little angel, never did anything wrong, virgin, regardless of the fact that I had been married before. I proceeded to tell him all of my flings and things, but I didn't want anybody to know. I wanted to be perfect and angelic to him. He said I leveled the playing field. And he started laughing and I'm like what do you mean? You leveled the playing field, what does that mean? And he said you're just as bad as me. I don't feel like such a horrible person by myself anymore. So he's like I have a whole new appreciation for you.
Speaker 2:I think I just fell in love with you again and I'm like oh my god, I was a total whore and my husband was to stay with me. It was incredible. We went to bed that night. I woke up the next morning terrified that he was gonna leave me and he was hugging all over me and being super nice and I was like oh my God, what are you doing? I just can't believe you're like me. I think I finally met my match and I've been married to her for 20 years. So anyway, the next day he happened to go into an office of our landlord and he just broke down again For some reason. He told them he had a gun to his head the night before and told them this little story about how I ran into the bathroom and asked God for help, and he asked them if he could go to church with them.
Speaker 2:We went to another church and we fell in love with this church. These people were so wonderful. We met missionaries. They were teaching us about the gospel and then I found that out the church was Mormon. And I'm like, oh my God, mormon, these people have more than one wife. He can't handle me, let alone 10 wives. If he can have 10 wives, I can have 10 husbands. You know, I continue my whoredom. So anyway, that's not how it really was. The Mormons stopped having 10 wives, 20 wives, it's just like every other Christian religion. Now I was like, okay, as long as we can't have more than one spouse, I'm in. So basically, that's my journey to get to where I really wanted to trust God, to know there was something more out there for me than just this life we're all struggling to get through and all this time you had no idea your husband was putting you on a pedestal in a way that he felt like he was not worthy of you.
Speaker 2:I had no idea, none. Why does he treat me so delicately? I'm not delicate emotionally, anyway I'm not and you know why does he try to keep certain things like exposure away from me? I've done everything that man has, and probably more, couldn't figure it out. I also never trusted him enough to tell him about myself, because I knew he felt this way about me. Those things were going to go to my grave. Once I had that trust, god took over my tongue and I spewed it all out. That was the best thing. There's. Truth to the phrase. The truth shall set you free, because it did.
Speaker 3:The fact that, out of all of 20 years of marriage, you'd never shared these things. It's a moment of complete despair on his part and your part trying to save him. Yeah, like what would possess you to say that? And yeah, I mean, which is best for me to?
Speaker 2:ask God. That's a good point too. Where did that come from? I went into the bathroom of an RV and looked up at the skylight and said if you are here, please show up. Wow, that's so, so powerful. My subconscious told me to turn to God, and that was it.
Speaker 4:I think the bathroom is quite a sanctuary.
Speaker 2:Nobody's going to come in while you're in there, unless you have a kid.
Speaker 4:Exactly.
Speaker 2:We were both addicted to opioids. I was an alcoholic as well, and part of the covenants at our church ask you to not partake in alcohol and drugs and we actually quit cold turkey overnight. We prayed about it. We just said, well, let's trust in the prayer, and we asked him to heal us from it. And we never looked back.
Speaker 3:When Tim was sharing with the landlords, he had no idea they were going to the Church of the Latter-day Saints. What possessed him to share that?
Speaker 2:Saints. What possessed him to share that? He was just so broken. He was just looking for someone to hear him and believe that he's a good person. Because our landlords didn't like us. We were actually getting kicked out because Tim was so intrusive he was very intrusive into the campground that we were living in. He also had a lot of anger that he would show outwardly Just a rough attitude. There was a lot of things that Picking verbal fight. He was angry, burdened with drugs, alcohol, had a rough past himself, you know, and I just think it all manifested. I just hid. I didn't know anybody in the campground, I hid in my camper. I didn't want to talk to anybody, I just wanted to stay drunk, keep popping my pills and stay in my lane.
Speaker 2:I really don't know what possessed him to come out with it. He just did. He just broke down. It was like he had no control. He knew they went to church, so he asked if we could go with them, how it happened. And no, we didn't know. They were Mormon. Like I said, when I found out I was like, oh my gosh. You know, when you think of Mormon you think of polygamy, and we found out that was the Reformed Mormons. We really loved the religion. It's the Bible, but yeah, it was pretty incredible. I mean they have us in their home all the Bible, but yeah, it was, it was pretty incredible. I mean they, they have us in their home all the time. She's become a surrogate mom. My mother lives in Oregon. I don't get to see her. This woman's stepped in and treated us like her children. She calls us her children.
Speaker 4:Wow, wow, wow. That's just so many synchronicities, as I like to call them. I don't believe in coincidences. Personally, I think that is absolutely divine and beautiful. When I think of Mormons, I think of a lot of rules and self-control.
Speaker 2:We have a lot of rules to follow. We do, but they keep us from straying away from the path. We don't drink coffee, black tea, we don't partake in drugs and alcohol. It doesn't mean we don't smoke a little pot here and there. I do.
Speaker 4:Wow Good for you. Wow, I was going to say. How dare you be human and live the human experience at the same time?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's been pretty incredible. I've journaled all of it and I look back at my journals and sometimes I can't believe where I was in the dark place. You know, I used to pray to God to just take me in my sleep every night before all this happened. So it's interesting. I look back and I was actually praying to God every night. I knew there was something out there, I just didn't know how to get to him. Little did I know. Asking you shall receive is so true, because I asked him and he won't leave me alone.
Speaker 3:What a brave woman you are, because you're pretty out there, honesty-wise, with your experience. You're sharing it with us as well. I've seen your amazing post on social and have just really commended you, because a lot of people, and regardless of what spirituality track they take they I don't want to say they forget where they came from, but I don't know that we tell that story enough. You do, which I think is really important.
Speaker 2:We live in a society where we can't be honest. It's politically incorrect to be honest. You feel like you have to be perfect, can't show your bad side, raised in a household where you never let anybody know what goes on in your four walls, household where you never let anybody know what goes on in your four walls, and I'm tired of that. I'm tired of just the persona that my husband had of me, embarrassed me. I don't want people to think that I'm perfect and I'm an angel and I don't do anything wrong. I want people to know who I am. It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to be real.
Speaker 2:I draw closer to people who are honest about who they are. When someone tells me things about themselves that they generally wouldn't talk about. I'm a hairdresser. I hear a lot of things. That's endearing to me. I learn to love them more because of their honesty. I don't care anymore. I'm out there. I've been judged enough in my life. So if you're going to judge me for stepping off the angel path, I don't even know what to say about that?
Speaker 2:I feel like I want to be around real people and I want to be real.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I love honesty, I love rawness.
Speaker 4:Yeah, may I ask a question about what you were saying, with your husband putting you on this pedestal, and how it feels like that was in many ways shattering internally it was. I can only imagine how traumatic that experience would be, because that's, you know, the rock, the one who's supposed to understand you, like you're with day and night, and if they don't understand who you are, it would make me question do I know who I am? Could you talk about what your experience was like? I'm very curious how that went and how you worked through it.
Speaker 2:Well, it was a big relief to be able to tell someone those things. I think that it made me you know. It really made me love who I am. It did because I did those things, so many things. The first person that found me out other than Heavenly Father accepted me for my mistakes. He was okay with the fact that I had been with other men and some of the other things I've delved into that aren't so acceptable socially. It healed me. I felt like I found myself immediately by telling on myself. It was very healing for me emotionally, mentally, even physically, because I carried so much pain and when you don't talk about it it tends to give you physical issues. So I was able to release all of that and I did it without the help of drugs and alcohol, which is mind blowing to me. It gave me clarity.
Speaker 2:Other people that are close to me don't want to hear any of it. They don't want to know about the ugly. It's, you know, more family. It's kind of like it's too shocking for them because I always prided myself in flying solo and I would do things. I was always by myself out there in the world. I didn't have girlfriends hanging with me, I just went on my own. I could get into plenty of trouble by myself. I didn't need friends to help me. The only thing I can really say is it was so healing to be able to vomit all of it and have somebody that I love so much love me more because I'm real.
Speaker 4:I hope that encourages every listener in any capacity that living their authenticity truly does bring in the people who we need.
Speaker 2:It's part of what's wrong with our relationships. We can't be real. I can't tell you all of my bad stuff because you might judge me. We judge each other instead of just loving each other. All of us have done ugly, but why can't we talk about it? You know, when I'm at church we have testimony Sundays where you give your testimony.
Speaker 2:I am always real. I don't go up there and just say I believe in God, I believe in the church, and I go up there and I tell a story and there was a few times where I felt like I was being reeled in. Some of the elders might say you don't have to go into detail. I think it was out of concern for the children that are in the audience. But that's not me. I'm real. I'm not going to talk unless I can be who I am. So that's the way it is. And it's funny because after Tim or I talk up, in can be who I am. So that's the way it is. And it's funny because we have to have Tim or I talk up in front of everybody. We always have people come up and say we just love you because you're so real, so raw, and that's what brings us here. We want to hear that. We don't want to hear. Everything is rosy and beautiful with glitter. It's not. I just am who I am. If they don't accept it, I can't be around those people.
Speaker 3:I remember when you told me that you were Mormon and I had told you that I had gone to Brigham Young University and I was part of the church as well for a period of time and that made me nervous to tell you some of the more spiritual side of things I had experienced, because I thought you were going to judge me, because I see Mary Beth's aura and I don't know what you see, chloe, but I see purple and pink everywhere, which is just like love and divine crown, just connection to God, like that is, is what that symbolizes to me.
Speaker 3:And when you were like, oh, girl, and then you started telling me some of your talents that you have, I wondered how that jived, because and it's not just the Mormon church how that jived because and it's not just the mormon church christian churches don't necessarily love that I can see your aura. They don't necessarily love that you have this telepathic gift. They don't love that. But you're so authentic. How do you make that work? Well, maybe you're, you're in a church and it provides you what you need, but that doesn't mean it takes you over, because that would mean you're inauthentic.
Speaker 2:I was in my 50s when I joined this church. I went into this with the attitude that they are going to take me for who I am, the attitude that they are going to take me for who I am or this isn't the place for me. They have me teaching Sunday school and all this kind of stuff, so they must pick me. The heathens teaching Sunday school. That's just crazy. I think that because there are so many people that come to me and say they love that, I just say what I mean. I think they find it refreshing, to be honest, that I'm willing to put it out there. I don't care anymore. I'm halfway through this life, more than halfway through, you know. I want people to be happy around me and feel like they can feel good around me, you know, and not hide themselves. They can feel good around me, you know and not hide themselves.
Speaker 4:I love that from your experience. It's been so open and inviting and allows church and they've helped her tremendously. When she became very toxic to herself and others again they were very good at saying this is not a place for you. So I've seen the whole gambit of positive and everything else could be said for society.
Speaker 2:Any church anywhere. It depends on who you come in contact with.
Speaker 4:Any church, anywhere. It depends on who you come in contact with, absolutely so. I love that you're strong enough to find something that fits and resonates for you and the people you surround yourself with. They equally accept you and your uniqueness, the things that define you, mary Beth, who you are, what you want to do. It doesn't have to fit this box my understanding of certain religions. So I appreciate you being here to speak to that.
Speaker 2:Well, I think a lot of people look at religion as strict. You have to stay in this box. You can't do anything wrong.
Speaker 4:That's been my experience through multiple religious services as well, not because I wanted to be in a box.
Speaker 2:Mine too. I think that's something we need to correct in society. That is something we need to raise our children with. That it's okay to be who you are. There are certain things you can't do. You shouldn't do anything illegal. You shouldn't hurt people. We're humans and let's face it. That's the beauty of repentance you can repent and be forgiven. You just need to be better people for each other. We need to love and not judge. How many times we look at somebody and pass judgment because of appearance and not bother to dig into who they really are?
Speaker 3:and not just the Mormon church, churches in general and other religions, and their view of transgendered people or people who are non-binary or have different sexual orientations, and you were very clear to me about you love the person for who they are.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I don't care. I don't care if you're gay, I don't care if you're transgender. You're on your own journey. I just think that we need to understand each person's journey and be open to listening. We don't have the right to judge people. We don't have the right to tell people what they should and shouldn't do. We just need to be there to help them if they want help.
Speaker 2:I have clients that are trans. You know. They sit in my chair and I trim their wigs for them, and there's no judgment here. I love them regardless. They have a story too. They have a journey too. One of my trans clients has been on a journey to have her face softened and she got a terrible infection from it. It's been very hard for her, and I don't look at her and say, oh well, you shouldn't have done that in the first place. I look at her and say I'm sorry, Let me try and make this wig give you some kind of uplifting feeling about yourself. Let's see if we can't trim it to hide things bothering you from your surgery. Instead of being judgmental. I've been judged my whole life. That's why I just I can't do that to people.
Speaker 3:I thought when you told me you had befriended a couple of people at church who I think you had two female partners that you had befriended and the fact that you were going to be their friend, whether anybody liked it or not, and they were hurting because they had felt judged and I loved that you said, well, I'm not going to judge you for that. The church, any church, is going to help me the way I needed to help me, but they'm not going to judge you for that. The church, any church, is going to help me the way I needed to help me, but they're not going to control who.
Speaker 2:I am. We have to have the freedom to be who we are.
Speaker 3:That's super important, because so many times people give their power away. In fact, what you and Tim did was found your power.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we did Not giving it away to alcohol and drugs to numb you or other behaviors that made you feel good in the moment. And we've all been there. I don't know one person that hasn't abused something. Yeah, used something, the pain inside of us, whatever that pain is, and I loved that you took the connection with God to give you power back, and that's a different story than a lot of people tell. Do you feel like your connection to God now is stronger?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:Do you get downloads? What is your spiritual communication with God like?
Speaker 2:So for me, it's my relationship with God, regardless of my religion. It just so happened that I happened upon this church. I feel like I hear him constantly. Sometimes I'm like get away. It's like the little devil and the angel. Sometimes I just want to flick the angel off my shoulder and just do something bad. But he's constantly in my ear like you've come a long way, don't turn back now. But yeah, I just talk to him all the time. I feel like I have a best friend. Nobody else can see him. He's my little secret, that is so profound to me.
Speaker 4:I think two things. I'm still I think my jaw is still on the floor as somebody who searched so deeply for a church, a church that felt right for me. It never occurred to me until we're having this conversation Keone just said that is absolutely huge is that the church can help us, but it doesn't have to define who we are now.
Speaker 4:It shouldn't, and that me is mind-blowing because I always felt the exact opposite. So I'm loving and I'm curious how you incorporate those conversations. My problem with religion was I always felt like somebody was in the middle and I couldn't connect directly. Sounds like you utilized this church to directly connect.
Speaker 2:I did. That was my path. They were so incredible with Tim and I. They were very gentle with us and what I found really intriguing was they wanted they literally would pull stuff out of us.
Speaker 2:We can't talk about that, we shouldn't say that. And they're like no, we can't talk about that, we shouldn't say that. And they're like no, you're going to talk, we want to hear it. And then it's really interesting when I've been in meetings where we've had discussions that I felt like why you know, this is, these are church people. Oh my gosh, I get messages afterwards. They're like, wow, you're real, like you're a human being. You're sitting in here. You're not some robot telling me I have to do everything right, I'm broken. I'm as broken as they come. Honestly, I feel like my broken has been good for me. Shall I say it has. It's helped heal me. And I honestly am amazed by people who don't have these awful experiences, because I'm like how are you even spiritual if you haven't needed a higher power? They're like robots to me, just doing the right thing all the time, and then there's me flicking the angel off my shoulder because I want to do something bad, you know.
Speaker 4:I call it the two by four moments that my higher power is tried to tell me and guide me, and I don't listen. They just keep hitting me, metaphorically speaking, just keep hitting me with this two by four and I just keep hitting my head against the wall and eventually I'll catch on.
Speaker 2:You see people in church. You can see people who are afraid to let their personalities manifest in front of other people Not me. I am who I am. I'm so tired of hiding. This is really interesting. I think about this all the time. My parents don't know me. They know who they raised and they did such a wonderful job with me, but I don't think they want to hear the ugly side. Maybe it's because they're my parents and I sit when I go visit. I'm often hoping that my mom will say okay, mary Beth, I know that you have discussed your past and a lot of it's out there, but I don't know what it is. So tell me. I'd love to talk to mom and dad about what I've gone through in my life, but I think they're afraid to hear it because I think that they will judge themselves. It has nothing to do with them. I had a great childhood. My parents were there.
Speaker 2:They were home. They did a lot with us. We turned out who we're supposed to be, regardless of how they raise us. That's the only fear I have. I still fear my parents finding me out.
Speaker 3:I think with my children's generation. As you see on social media they're very out there. They say what they think. It's good, bad, indifferent, depending on how you look at good and bad. I have known my children the good, bad and ugly. They've been pretty honest. I'm sure there are things I don't know, but I think that is a difference in generation. I fear being judged by them as well, yeah, and I would feel like I'm going potentially to be in trouble and I'm thinking what could they possibly did? But there is that thing when you grow up that way.
Speaker 2:I think it's the disappointment that we're afraid of.
Speaker 4:I think so. I was just going to say that we grew up in a more disciplined, in more of a hands on I don't want to use the word violent, but fear, fear-based.
Speaker 2:Wait till your father gets home.
Speaker 4:Right there it's so mixed with the disappointment because to me, as somebody who lived through that childhood, I would say, for me, the pain goes away. Childhood, I would say For me the pain goes away, the disappointment sticks with you forever.
Speaker 2:You get it, I do. We were raised by baby boomers. They were stricter, you know. They just were more conservative than the kids that I guess they're in their late 30s and stuff that are raising children. Now they're raising them to be more verbal.
Speaker 3:And more authentic? Yeah, a lot of ways. Yeah, because you're right, mary Beth. When I think back to the conversations we would have with our family, it's like you don't need to put your business out there, that's our business, my parents and it didn't feel like we were hiding anything, it was just like this is our family, they have their families.
Speaker 3:We were also raised and Mary Beth knows my mom with don't fall for the facade, because everyone, I don't want to say, has a skeleton, but everybody's got their own story. Yes, now, as perfect as anyone can look on the outside a family, a person we can't presume that they haven't fallen down or had trouble or had violence in their lives. But I really felt that, growing up the same way you did, which is this is our personal business, this stays within these four walls, and that's just the way we lived, and I did a number on authenticity and maybe that is why we all are looking for that. You must be a fresh air moment when people talk to you, especially at church, because you are not adopting anything other than who you are.
Speaker 2:Well, like I said, I went into this and they're either going to accept us for who they are or this isn't the place for us for who they are, or this isn't the place for us.
Speaker 3:You held onto your power when you entered the premise, where I think a lot of us may approach it in an opposite way and that allows you to be who you are. I think that's super cool.
Speaker 2:Well, I think when you first go into a church, I know we all probably get the sense that, okay, I have to act right, I have to look right, I have to. I don't know, I can't make any wrong moves, you know. It just feels like it's so uptight and you feel like like we were discussing earlier these lists of rules you have to follow. I don't know, this time I didn't do that. We were at our wits end. My husband was going to kill himself. He literally handed me a gun and said you're so unhappy, Shoot yourself too.
Speaker 2:We had nothing left to lose. You know we had already lost everything. We've lost our home, we lost everything material. We were at the bottom. So we didn't care anymore. Take us as we are or don't take us at all, because we're pretty bad now. So you can either help us or leave us be. That's how I went into it and so far they are wonderful people. They have accepted every part of us. They want us to tell our story because they understand that everybody in there is broken. Some of us are a little more broken, but it might just take one story to save somebody else's life.
Speaker 3:This conversation with you and how long have I known you now? A year, a year and a half has made me feel closer to you and more empowered than ever. And this is on a podcast interview. Yeah, oh, I love that. No, it's true, because I love that your broken moment, or your bottom, was actually the most powerful thing that ever happened to you. Cool, is that? What a juxtaposition.
Speaker 2:It was pretty rough at the time, but Of course, it's the best thing that ever happened to both of us. The ugliest time was the most incredible, beautiful time of my life. I look at my husband now, three years later, and he had a drive to live. Wakes up with. What are we doing today Instead of? I just want to die.
Speaker 3:And I don't want to be superficial, but you both look beautiful. I never saw you and Tim prior to your making these changes, but you've shown me pictures of how you used to look, and she's just. You see her, chloe. She's slim, she's fresh faced, she looks happy. So does he. You both are fit, and I know, not just spiritually but physically you feel so much better?
Speaker 2:Oh, definitely, it changed everything. We feel like we got set free, like the chains aren't around us anymore. Life is just this big experience. We can't wait to happen instead of wanting to just crawl in a box and hide from the world. Right.
Speaker 3:Life isn't supposed to be a punishment.
Speaker 2:It's a journey. Yes, it's supposed to be a journey.
Speaker 4:I actually just wanted to take a moment and say thank you for being so transparent and authentic.
Speaker 4:I think the thing that I keep feeling from you is this demand for change across the board, regardless of what we believe in our heads, as long as we're not harming each other or ourselves.
Speaker 4:If we continue to be authentic with each other, we can demand the change and the difference, because I can't stop thinking about how many times I went to so many different churches looking for that experience and I was the one who was told I was being too real or I was too broken. So to demand the difference and the change, not just in a religious facility or a church, but in society across the board. You're doing it every day, while you're helping people find their authenticity in your chair, whether it's internal or external, and I just think that is huge that you're doing this, because I can see a world where this exchange could be very terrifying. I admire you. I really just want to take that moment for all of our listeners to think about what this really could look like and to just open their minds. I love what you're bringing to this table. Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Open your mind to holding onto your power. If you feel called to connect more strongly with your higher power God, goddess, universe, do it and be your authentic self in doing so. I mean, that's what I'm taking away from this conversation.
Speaker 2:But we have to surround ourselves with people that allow us to be that way. Seek out those people.
Speaker 4:Or is it you're demanding it in a respectful way, maybe? Therefore, that's how people are stepping up.
Speaker 2:I like that. Maybe that's what it is right. I don't put on a facade with anybody I meet, so maybe it is demanding. I'm here, this is who I am. If you're comfortable with me, then let's be friends. If not, that's okay.
Speaker 3:I'm going to shift gears and then we're all going to be in tears. I, that's okay, I'm going to shift gears and then we're all going to be in tears. I didn't even mean that to rhyme. Every single person on this podcast loves animals. Chloe had a dog that died three years ago and she's still grieving. That's how much she loved him. Mary Beth rescued birds, dogs, cats. She also donated to the wolf cause for me and we talk about animals every time. I'm even around you and I just wondered what you think the spiritual connection spirit, animal and person. We may see something that maybe others who don't have experience with animals see it's acceptance.
Speaker 2:It's just they love us. They don't care if we brush our hair, they don't care if we brush our teeth. They don't care how much money we make. They don't care if we drive a Volkswagen Beetle or a Mercedes Benz. My connection is because of acceptance. I don't have to have a filter around animals.
Speaker 3:But I think that bit you in the butt with a parrot, didn't it?
Speaker 2:Oh well, literally yeah, my lack of filter taught my parrot to not have a filter my cat would also agree.
Speaker 4:She has her own strong personality.
Speaker 2:My bird. Those birds were rotten. I loved them, but she would scream Mommy, come back. We never cussed around them. Over the course of time I rescued the larger parrots. So I would get a call from someone who found a hoarding situation of birds and we would end up taking the larger parrots because we knew how to handle them and rehabilitate them and find them new homes.
Speaker 2:That was tough, accepting some of these birds and this goes with all animals that come from hard backgrounds. You might look like the person that abused them, so they're going to be terrified of you until you take the time to prove differently. Isn't that how we are as humans, with anything? We come from backgrounds, so we're afraid of people who look like what we've come from. It's all similar Animals. They just love you and they grow to love you, even if you do look like the person who abused them. Over time that they learn to trust you and accept you. My husband said how come when you come home, you go to the dogs and not me first? I said if you would jump up, wag your tail, hop around and kiss all over me, I'd come to you first. But you sit there waiting for dinner. My uncle just want to love me, just want to love me.
Speaker 3:Sometimes people don't want to do rescue because they feel like their hearts are going to be broken. When you have to rehome, you've given a healed animal back to someone who's going to love them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the sad part about rescue is you don't know the hands they're going to, and all you can pray for is that those hands are going to be healing as well for that animal. That's the fear.
Speaker 3:When I had my horses, I had gone to a barn just looking around, prior to establishing which barn I was going to board my horses, which barn I was going to board my horses, and I had gone to one barn where the owner would lose his temper and hit the horses with two-by-fours, I've gone to jail.
Speaker 2:I'd have picked up a two-by-four with nails and started beating them. He did have nails in them.
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, they were afraid of him. Obviously he had a major anger problem, but I remember thinking and you and I have talked about this, mary Beth what happened to him that he felt so enraged by an innocent animal and I'm not saying the behavior is innocent, because they learn from what we teach them and we need to train them, and that takes patience and such but what is it that is so broken in someone that they would beat the hell out of anything?
Speaker 4:Yeah, beat the hell out of anything. Yeah.
Speaker 3:After I get past my anger, I always come back to and it was perfect what you said about everyone feels broken in a certain way. Yeah, and seeing animals that have been rescued and rescued, having animals that needed rescue, it must have been very difficult for you to see things that were underweight. You know, not molting properly. I mean, birds are very delicate.
Speaker 2:They had no feathers left, because they were left in a cage in the dark in a basement and just plucked all their feathers out of boredom. Just horrific People, human beings. I tell you it's painful, but, like you had said, we all come from something. We are all broken. That is something I've always been fascinated with, though, is the people who can actually dive in with broken people and really get to the core of where all this comes from. People and really get to the core of where all this comes from, gaining that trust. I love people's stories, whether they're good or bad. I love to hear what people have to say, and I wish I could be one of those people that helped heal trauma like that that causes you to act out on innocence, like people that harm children, elderly people and disabled.
Speaker 3:Maybe in my next life. Oh, so you do believe in having an ex-wife? Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2:That's awesome.
Speaker 3:Do you have any glimpses of who you may have been in the past?
Speaker 2:I really don't. When you talk about your past life, progression and stuff, I keep thinking do I want to know? I'm intrigued by it, so one of these days I'm going to be getting that done. But no, I do believe. I do believe there's another life for me. Being on earth now I feel like I just want to be as good of a human as I can to deserve a good life the next time around, if that makes sense. We need to deserve those things, so we have to be as good human beings as we can now so that we have a better life again later.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what we, what we're giving out is what we get back.
Speaker 2:I'd like to know what my spirit went through before. I would love that I was here before. What was I? Who was I? Was I a man? Was I a woman? What did I do for a living? What impact did I make on the people that were around me? So I think that would be pretty fascinating. Scary but fascinating at the same time. But maybe that is a doorway into who I am now Like. Why am I who I am now?
Speaker 3:I bet she was someone who didn't allow anything. You were some type of liberator, or maybe you led the French Revolution.
Speaker 2:I like to think of myself as some princess in a big frilly dress. No, no, I don't even know.
Speaker 4:No, you're not going prison like that either. Exactly you're too authentic.
Speaker 2:I'd be one of the king's little hookers on the side, probably I think they're called consorts yeah, that's probably who I was, god knows bombasan.
Speaker 4:We called them in Japan oh. I'll become a geisha or something wow, there's a couple things you touched on that I was curious. You mentioned that you felt like animals sometimes potentially could misrecognize you from triggers very similar to humans. Do you feel that they read or feel energies, or could you speak to your thoughts on that, because the more you speak, the more I just want to hear you talk.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely. It's interesting that you asked that because I had a bird. Her name was Gypsy, she was a military McCall, so she was like a. She was a shorter little green McCall and she came from a hoarding situation and that bird hated me Literally. When I would get near her cage she would projectile poop on me. She would lean her bottom up against the cage and just shoot a poop on me when she was out of her cage. If she saw me walking past her, she would fly onto the back of my head and attach and start digging at my head. But I also learned that it was my fear and my negative energy of expecting that that made her nervous too. And there were times when I would be sitting in the living room relaxing and her cage would be next to me and she would climb down and get on the chair and hang out with me.
Speaker 2:So energy is everything to animals, because that's all that they can read. They read our energy. I definitely think that has a lot to do with the way they are around us. Eventually she got better. I never could hold her. She would sit on my leg on her terms, but that was huge compared to what she was we were able to rehabilitate her enough to send her to a new home that understood her background and her abuse. She had a nice life there. That's beautiful.
Speaker 2:Energy is everything when it comes to humans, and I have this beautiful friend that when I first saw her she gave off very negative energy to me. She was very intimidating. I thought this girl is so beautiful and I want to know her. I want to know why she's so tight looking. She's so tight looking. So one day I was in a situation she was so beautiful, though, to where I almost didn't want to meet her. She's like the beauty that you want to hate. It's intimidating when they're that gorgeous, yeah.
Speaker 2:So when I got this opportunity, we were in a small group and she came in and I was like, oh gosh, this beautiful chick is in my area here. I don't know if I'm going to like this I'm going to keep an eye on my husband for sure but I just said to myself go talk to her. Just go talk to her. You never know if she's intimidated by you. Who knows what she thinks. So I went over to her and someone gave me this tidbit of information about her that I knew I can use that to talk to her. I went and sat down next to her and I looked at her and I said you know what? I know you're new to our group. My name's Mary Beth. I'm a hairdresser. I know that you look at you. You're beautiful. I know that you love beauty and I know that you're in a similar industry. So I think I can help you, because she was new to the area and that broke the ice and I think it made her see that I'm okay to be around.
Speaker 2:We became friendly but before we got too close I said to her I want to have a conversation with you. This is going to sound direct, but I want to get it out there. I've never had a girlfriend not stab me in the back. I would love to have some friends, but I don't like friends because they always they're judgmental, they stab you in the back. Let's be friends, but let's put our boundaries out there right now. Let's promise not to stab each other in the back. If there's any issues, let's talk about them as girlfriends.
Speaker 2:You stay in your lane, I stay in my lane. Sometimes those lanes will merge together and we can do a road trip on it. And sometimes those lanes will merge together and we can do a road trip on it. So it's been really since. I was so forward about that. It's so funny. Now we have the greatest relationship. She refers to that conversation often. She's like you know, I'm so glad that you told me, brought that up, that we need to stay in our lanes and just be good friends to each other. It's just been wonderful. But that's so inappropriate to approach somebody like that. Let's be friends, but let's talk about our friendship first. But it was pretty cool. Now her and I are great friends. We know our boundaries and we can talk about everything.
Speaker 4:Look at you demanding difference in society. I guess that is what it is.
Speaker 2:Because if you're going to be my friend, you have to be a good person. Sorry, got to be nice to me. Don't try to split with my husband.
Speaker 4:No superficial conversations here. That's right yeah.
Speaker 3:What you're really saying, though, Mary Beth, is I want to be able to trust you. Give me a reason to trust you, so I don't want to have to worry about what you're saying about me. I don't want to have to worry about anything undermining us. If you stop talking to me, I'm going to start wondering is there something going on there? I want to be able to trust you and your boyfriend or me all of us to just get along in a trusting way.
Speaker 2:That's what humanity should be doing. These are the things that we're supposed to do. That's why we're here. Our purpose is to be good people, to learn to be good people so that we can get to the next level in life, so we can get to a better life. There's a better life. We have to deserve to be there. That's what I see. Why not set your boundaries right out of the gate?
Speaker 3:Your boundaries weren't that difficult. Give me a reason to trust you.
Speaker 2:Exactly, actually, I love that. I never thought about that, but that is the truth. Yeah, give me a reason to trust you Clear and concise.
Speaker 4:Very direct.
Speaker 3:I want that written on my salon walls. I had an art teacher in high school who said this is going to be the only class you'll ever hear a teacher tell you you cannot get in trouble for copying. He said if you see something you love a color, a painting you want to copy it. Go for it, because all you can do is learn from someone else's creativity. I said well damn, apparently that doesn't work for research papers, but you may certainly say that anytime you want. Mary Beth, I love that.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, You've taught me something. I actually wrote that down. Give me a reason to trust you. That's going to be a new motto for me.
Speaker 3:I love that we usually ask people to leave us with some words of wisdom or a prayer that people can use to help them center and ground Our dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for this opportunity to do this podcast.
Speaker 2:It has been such a blessing.
Speaker 2:We pray that we as human beings can become better people, be some kind of peace and some kind of solid ground for someone else to land. We concentrate on putting beautiful energy out there in the world and concentrate on being accepting of people and just loving them and showing them that there is a better way to be, that following you can be a blessing. It doesn't have to be confining. It can be such a beautiful experience and an open experience. Such a beautiful experience and an open experience and we pray for those out there that listen to this podcast that hopefully we can touch someone and help them, maybe answer a question about themselves, or maybe they've heard something that they needed to hear, and we just want them to know that they're not alone in this world, this big, scary world. And, heavenly Father, we just pray that you give us peace throughout the rest of this day, safety and joy, and we pray that you bless the rest of this day and we lift all these things up to you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Speaker 1:Perfect.
Speaker 4:That was beautiful.
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